Got Stump?
A true story by Malcolm Daly
Sit down my friends and kick off your boots because I’m going to tell you a story about a shirt. Not just any shirt, but a very special t-shirt. This is a shirt that has traveled the world in the company of some of the most famous ice climbers and gimps in the world. It’s lived in drawers right next to Kim Csizmazia’s panties and Jeff Lowe’s boxers. And it’s never been washed… That’s right boys and girls; it carries the sweat and the stink of six Ouray Ice Festival auctions and only God knows what else. Here’s how it went down:
January 2003
I was in my prosthetist’s office in Boulder when Paul Martin, another gimp and successful tri-athlete, came in and sold me the got stump? t-shirt. It was a fundraiser for his Disabled Olympic Triathalon project. A week later, when I was the auctioneer at the Ouray Ice Festival, things were heating up in the room so I took off my sweatshirt. Underneath was, of course, the got stump? t-shirt. Things were getting pretty lively in the room. The Canadian’s had won both men’s and women’s comps that year and I was getting pretty seriously heckled by our friendly neighbors when they started chanting, “Sell the Shirt! Sell the Shirt!”
WTF? “What shirt are you talking about?” I said. “That shirt”, they said pointing to my got stump? shirt. “This shirt?” I said. “ Yeah, that shirt”.
I’m always one to want to raise money for the ice park so what the hell… “Will anybody give me twenty bucks for it?”
Every hand in the room went up. Thirty? One person dropped their hand.
Forty, fifty, sixty…all the way up to a hundred dollars and there were still four hands up. “A hundred dollars for a dirty shirt?, I questioned. Two hands went back up. $130 and, finally, at $140, a lone hand remained. I looked over to confirm and Chris Folsom nodded his head and said, “I’ve got to have that shirt”.
Turns out that Chris had lopped off a finger while wrenching on a car and earned the nickname. “Stump”.
Total Raised $140
January 2004
Auctioning at the Ouray Ice fest again. Sweaty, loud and lubricated with plenty of New Belgium beer. Halfway through I felt a tug at my sleeve and there was Chris handing me a wadded up shirt. “It’s the shirt, he said. Sell it again! I’ve never washed it.”
So I told the story from ’03 and started the bidding at last year’s selling price of $140. It took less than 2 minutes to get up to $1,000 where it stalled momentarily.
Meanwhile, Angela Donini was working the back of the room hard, putting together a consortium of locals to pool their money and go big. Sure enough, the next bid was for $1,400 and that’s where it stopped.
Someone came up with the idea to make the shirt a traveling trophy, giving it to a deserving person to care-take for the year. Warren Macdonald was in town for his first ice fest and seemed to be an appropriate gimp so he was awarded the shirt for the year. We made up 2 rules on the spot:
1. The caretaker couldn’t wash the shirt.
2. The caretaker had to agree to personally deliver it to the following year’s festival.
Warren agreed and the journey began.
Total Raised $1,400
Cumulative Total $1,540
January 2005
Since the got stump? t-shirt seemed to be taking on a life of its own, the Ice Festival committee decided to move the auction to the awards ceremony over in the Opera House. That night we played to a packed house. The front-row seats were stuffed with all of the competitors and the back was elbow to elbow with attendees and vendors. Dale Bard from Petzl had a wad of cash from donations at their party the previous night and opened the bidding at $500. Up and up it went, finally stalling out at $2,300 or so, when I had an idea…
“Look, I said, this is getting a bit rich for a lot of the people in this room but I know that all of you want to contribute to the ice park.” How many people here would be willing to donate $100 to make this a traveling trophy for Jeff Lowe (who we had just honored)?
Twenty-five people raised their hands, including virtually all of the competitors who had just been awarded their prize money in hundred-dollar bills. Added to the $500 from the Petzl Party that brought it to exactly $3,000. Not bad for a dirty t-shirt.
Total Raised $3,000
Cumulative Total $4,540
January 2006
The shirt was auctioned off again at the Awards Ceremony in the Opera House. Jeff brought the shirt back and we repeated what we had done the year before. This time the total came to $3,600 and we gave the traveling trophy to Kim Czismazia since she qualified as a semi-gimp (right) because of hip surgery.
Total Raised $3,600
Cumulative Total $8,140
January 2007
This year would turn out to be a biggie. When the Ice Festival Board asked me to auction the shirt again I requested that they define a specific project for the funds to go to. The Ice Park had been planning to build a warming bench as a memorial for Karen McNeill and Sue Knott, and suggested the fund go to that. ”No way, I said, It’s too small. Give me something that benefits the climbers, that benefits the community and costs real money.”
An hour later Chris and Mike came back to me with an amazing plan: 12 pitches of new ice perfect for kids and beginners, right above the upper bridge. Additionally, there was room for a warming area which could be dedicated as a memorial for Karen and Sue. It was perfect. I told them I’d get them $10,000.
That night, when the memorial presentation for Karen and Sue was over, I showed a PowerPoint with some pictures of the new area, pictures of kids climbing and made my case: The park needs a safe place for kids, media and beginners. A place that is easy to access and welcoming to people who didn’t want to go down into the gorge. Then I told the crowd that I wanted everyone in the audience to donate $100 towards this worthy goal. Damn if just about everybody didn’t get up and head to the payment line. I was sure that we would get $10,000 but it only ended up at $7,500. Not bad for a stinky t-shirt though.
Total Raised $7,500
Cumulative Total $15,640
January 2008
How do we top 2007? More ice, of course. Mike Gibbs walked the gorge and found a nice wall across the gorge from the 5-Fingers area that had room for 8-10 new ice routes and featured a cave for some easy mixed routes. To get water over there new pipes would have to be laid across the lower trestle and, at the same time, facilitate building a walkway over the trestle. This would connect 2 trails up on the sides of the lower gorge making a nice mile-long loop hike from town. Perfect: it benefits the climbers, the community and it’s going to be expensive enough that climbers feel they played a real part in developing it.
This time when I asked for donations I asked first for everyone willing to donate $500. Eight people stood up. Then $200, $100, 450 and $25. Each time more people got up to donate. The total was $9,600 and I ran and interrupted Josh’s slide show to announce it. Laura was hot on my heels asking just 4 more people to pitch in $100 and we’d hit the goal of $10,000. Seven more go up and we ended up with $10,300. How are we going to top that for next year?
Total Raised $10,300
Cumulative Total $25,940
